Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Devotees wants you.
How about you?
"she looked at me and said, "Tell your class that i am not taking your class anymore. miss ang will take over. ".
my mind went blank. " what happened? " i kept asking her. " is because your class did not hand the work to me. yesterday only wencong handed in but his is incomplete work. i do not know how to take care of your class anymore. i am too worry about your class until i do not know how to handle it anymore. "
i panicked and almost cried out. i kept on begging her to take back our class. i begged her again and again but she still wouldn't change her mind. our conversation got cut by that idiot goh siew eng. is like nothing to do with her and she came to interrupt. in the end, i had no choice but to leave.
i went back to class and told them the news. we didn't expect that things would turn out to be like this. we cannot have miss ang. we need miss lim. at least to me, i really need her. she is my motivation. she is the only teacher that could make me do my work willingly. we really need her back. i believe that kaihui will agree with me. if only she could change her mind ): -sighs-"
"My 5C is the most important ones in PHS. No other class can ever take your place. Believe it or not, I have informed all the HOD's to give me their free/MC/Leave periods despite my very heavy timetable....I can volunteer myself to work harder....more time into serving 5C......... The joy that yr class brings me is unbelievable." "..........I so wanna help.....with every ounce of time and strength left, I will serve all ten of you......" "Let me go. I'm tired." "..........but why is Genia so worried?becos she CARES....not 10 but 23...."
If only you can understand how I already am feeling now, if only you can understand how each and every one of us are already feeling now. If only, if only. I came to learn about this yesterday when Huixin cares enough to call me up and tell me, when Reina cares enough to tell me over the net.
And my reaction was the same as Huixin - blank. Stunned. I never know that one year of fun and laughter could end so easily. I never know that we have so fast, forgotten the long stretch of road we all have once walked. I never know this would have caused ALL OUR hearts to be so pain. Devotess have never once felt so helpless, so abandoned and so hopeless before. Never. And of course, as the devotees, we too, never know how to magnifest out what's within us.
Today, I had a long and enjoyable talk with Huixin. We cried out our angst towards things and we pour out our hearts about what has happened, and the days ahead. Yes, you would say that we're being emotional and being negative. But place yourself in our shoes. If someone, whom you have gone through thick and thin with tells you this, how would you feel? For the first time, Huixin and me feel really helpless, and we both feel that we're abandon kittens who's owner refuses to take back even after all the meowing. We are seventeen, yet we are still bound by rules that made us feel like dogs, at time.
You were the reason that I came back. You were the reason that have motivated us to excel in F&N even in this tough time, we still hold on dearly. Don and Clarence could have easily given up on this subject and focus on other subjects since they are already As students in other subjects, but they did not. As for the girls and Wencong, you were the SOLE motivation that we still hold on to this subject. We take pride in YOUR work, YOUR subject. If because of your helplessness you want to give us up, if because you feel we don't treat you as a teacher like how we should be, if because assignments not handed up on time or you see no qualities in it, then why can't we, the students give up studying?
Sometimes I don't like knowing so many things. It just ache my heart as I stand on both parties to think about it. And my eyes are red enough for this matter. You say you're tormented girl. I say we are tormented teenagers.
Sometimes life is just so sad, so disappointing, so lost, so helpless, or even hopeless.
maoed.]
at 3:51 PM
